A Wrinkle In Time

Have you read it? Did you love it? Author Madeleine L’Engle wrote this engrossing novel, winning the Newbury in 1963. This travel through time and space is a delight and one I intend to return to again…and soon. Reaching deep with themes of death, social conformity, and truth, this children’s chapter book can be a whole new adventure read as an adult. Here’s an interesting take on this read from adults in a Mashable podcast.

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A Wrinkle In Time is the first in the Time Quintet series. Right now, it’s resurgence is notable in relation to the release of the movie in February 2018. Every where I turn I see this classic and what a wonderful thing that is! But what does this have to do with cancer and melanoma?

Scans and Tessering

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Well, here goes my thoughts on this and cancer patients and caregivers might be most able to relate to this. Time goes fast, time goes slow for all of us. I am learning to live in the moment, the here and now but what happens when you have a full day of appointments, appointments that will give you more time to enjoy life, or bring you to that place of worry when not “passing” the scans? Let me know how you deal with scan days.

My caregiver works with me as I submit to the surrealism of MRI, CT, any various dyes, drugs, and blood letting. Liquid hope is funneled into veins like water through a hose. Like A Wrinkle in Time, there is a sci-fi quality about my Dana Farber day,  lying in tubes hearing thumps or being directed to breathe and not breathe by mechanical audio direction. Big Brother, is that you? Meditation helps to keep me in balance and mindfulness reminds me that this singular moment of pain and discomfort will pass, too.

Each of us has our wrinkle in time, a place between reality and the unknown. Sensations of time and place muddle. Questions of belief and hope are only human, and that’s just fine, to feel human. Characters in the book find their time spent with tesseracts; this time travel is often physically painful and leaves them with anxiety, uncertainty. Sound familiar?

Parallel Universe?

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Parallels between A Wrinkle in Time and our own cancer journeys are uncanny. Reality is a fine place though some days we feel as though we are in a time warp, part of a science fiction writing that brings us places we never thought we’d go. Balance tips  as our health tessering brings concerns to the forefront, our future looms closer. Living in the moment skyrockets out of reach as medical melee hurls us toward the future.

Madeleine L’Engle  states that “For me, this book activates both transparency and resistance. It urges us to open ourselves up to those hurts, those tribulations, those disappointments, those doubts, those uncertainties. All of which can be summarized as darkness. It walks us through that pain to a light within ourselves, sparking us to resist all that is not for our good and fight for a better way. Simply put, A Wrinkle in Time offers a glimpse of eternity”.

Not sure where I am with the idea of eternity, but I totally look for the light in each moment, and not the sun light! Find that light within yourselves and fight the cancer battle with courage. Not the journey we chose, but how lucky to still be on the trip! #melanomatheskin #cancer #awrinkleintime #melanoma #Thursdaythoughts

We Can-cer vive!

Janis

 

 

Melanoma Marathon

Now Racing Through My Mind…

is the appointments, no longer in the distance but hurdles to be jumped in the next few days. I honestly, don’t see a finish line in my melanoma path, primarily because beating cancer is now a way of life. This isn’t a knee scrape that we put a band aid on and all is good.

Bottom line, I’m alive and I’m in the care of world class doctors at Dana Farber, and I’m monitored on a regular basis.  Do I want to be under such scrutiny? Hell, yes! While I’d love to have no medical anything in life, I have a ginormous medical life. This is what is keeping me alive and that is how I look at it. This IS life now.

Not The Fast Track

My journey involves traveling. Weighing whether my Stage III metastatic melanoma was worthy of out-of-state cancer treatment with the recurrence, it was obvious that was the track we were on. Road trips add another layer of angst but once you get the routine down its okay.

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A folder includes changes in medicines, printed schedules, and other loose paperwork. The notebook of questions, previous notes, and dates, etc. is essential. Identification and the dreaded health insurance cards are put in my “Maggie Bag”… a gift from a friend that keeps the small essentials together. There’s also a cribbage board in there, pens, chapstick, pain relievers, and special beads from the grandkids.

DSC01632All of this goes in the backpack, along with water bottles, snacks, and perhaps some knitting or reading.  I can’t do books on Dana Farber days as my mind wanders but a good magazine is easier on the brain.  Why the backpack? These days are beyond full so we bring what we need and usually don’t have to return to the parking garage until day’s end.  Wear comfortable walking shoes as procedures are not next door! What works for you on big medical days? I’d love to hear your tips! Please comment.

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Having a caregiver, if possible, is very important. Driving, listening to medical professionals, helping to navigate floors, offices, and labs, taking notes, asking questions, and just offering support in a very anxious situation is incredibly helpful.

Start Up: A Marathon with Hurdles

Dermatologists will examine every dot and spot. Included in the day is: blood work, MRI and CT scans, skin cancer oncologists, and the infusion team if all goes well. Beyond grueling as woven in to this time of poking and prodding, is the nugget all cancer patients keep buried in the back of their thoughts…”will the tests come back clean?”.

Health information is exchanged. I let my medical team know of my fatigue challenges, what aches, any new areas in question. In return, I will get preliminary results from all the testing, and perhaps a green light for infusion of Yervoy (imilimumab), one of the drugs in the clinical trial that I started last Fall.

Train For The Hurdles

Like each day, I take the medical days moment by moment. Each appointment is important, and brings me one step closer to the end-of-the-day infusion that may be enhancing my immune system. Train your brain to seek the positive when possible. How you prepare for the next appointment matters.

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Lead into your hurdles with hope and courage; it makes for a strong landing. Life is different for each of us, and we all have our challenges, our hurdles. Take each one as they come, and work toward a solid landing. Like the track and field runner, practice finding balance and positive head space. Where does your inspiration come from? #rootingforyou #cancer #melanomatheskin #melanoma #yippyforipi #inforthewin #Tuesdaythoughts

We can-cer vive!

Janis

 

Creepers and Stalkers and Trolls, Oh My!

troll-1916370_960_720.jpgWriting today is mostly therapeutic and I apologize in advance for my anxious thoughts. You see, I’m on a clinical trial for metastatic melanoma and due up for my next visit at Dana Farber Cancer Institute. I’ve done well to get on with life, take breaks as needed, and think like my pre-cancer self.

Without Exception

Today the thoughts creep in, a bit more than the usual cancer stuff. It’s always there, the c-word stuff, but I believe I’m exceptional! Exceptional at keeping thoughts at bay, exceptional at ignoring thoughts, and exceptionally exceptional at creating an aura of life is good. Other cancer patients can relate to this!

Three months without my melanoma team, free to push myself through fatigue heavy days and achy joint night. Samplings of joy, love, and life finely sift through my new colander of life. Every moment is rich, alive, and mine for the living.

Whither Shall I Wander?

Prisoner in my own mind, my desire to stay in-the-now wanders down the path of next up. Next up means scans, tests, appointments with oncologists, dermatologists, and the infusion staff. These thoughts are like stalkers in my mind, no longer allowing me the freedom to be.

Plans for the trip to Dana Farber unfold, questions to be asked are written in THE notebook, the medical backpack is unpacked and repacked. Stalker thoughts are unavoidable and while this is not the travel adventure we anticipate, having the blue print in place becomes the norm.

Lost in Thought

Inching closer to the big medical day, it’s more of a challenge to ensure that my health information is current, that all pieces are in place. Racing toward a date that I’d rather avoid, troll-like nasties invade my head space. Ugly, worrisome thoughts greedily take up residence, regardless of how I attempt to evict them.

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Stay the course!

Feelings of balance and ideas of inspiration are mislaid; moments of hope are obscured as medical melee overrules. The unknown of the next medical segment may leave us feeling lost and filled with fear. Forsake those feelings as best you can as solace comes from love and understanding.

In The Know

The best cancer tip I can offer is that being organized helps. It may not sound like much but a medical backpack, a notebook, a caregiver…any or all provide cancer support. Know your schedule and print it. You will learn how to find all the offices, labs, and treatment areas; though it sounds odd, there is comfort in having a routine for your cancer trips.

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Words of encouragement found on my fridge magnet from Dana Farber Cancer Institute.

Days and hours leading up to your next appointments may be fraught with worry. Organize ahead of your appointments, shoo away thoughts of the unknown to make room for thoughts of courage. #braverthanyoubelieve  #melanomatheskin #melanoma #cancer

We can-cervive,

Janis

Birds of a Feather

Cancer patients or is that cancer patience? Ah, I’ve learned a lot about patience as I plod along hoping that each day on this clinical trial brings me closer to healing. Rather than live in fear, I have the belief that in being patient with the immunotherapy drug that potentially treats melanoma and kicks my butt, that I have a chance.

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Hope and inspiration might just come from odd places as we fight cancer and look for balance in our lives. I find that living in the moment is a good place for me to reside! Simple pleasures come and go, as do the trickier moments of scans, tests, and infusions. The natural world bestows the greatest moments of a-ha and reminds me of what really matters.

Life on the Wing

And so it is with the birds. Living where nature abounds, panoramic views gives ample opportunity for viewing. A plethora of shore birds arrive seasonally, while the hardier sparrows, blue jays, and gulls will tough it out with the rest of us year rounders.

Reading Round Robin by Jack Kent is a fun picture book and always a reading rite of Spring  bringing lots of laughs! Three robins nests in the rafters at our house this year and I’ve learned a lot from the National Audubon about the American Robin! What better way to be reminded of the hope of tomorrow than with watching life unfold.

Rule the Roost

Nest #1 appeared in May, and we barely noticed it nicely tucked in to the far end of the deck…not sure how many eggs there were, but if you look closely at the pictures above you will see two young birds. Flights ensued the day after this picture and they were on their own shortly thereafter.

Nest #2
Nest #2

Nest #2 came immediately after #1 on the busy, walkway under our deck. Long strands of grass and nest making material had me keen to this busy pair of robins. Four blue eggs later, we waited. With a 12-14 day incubation that felt far longer, we finally had one robin. I’ve been told that 50% hatch is normal. My grand-girl caught this baby bird on video early on, and I’ve watched this video several times. Life is amazing, right?

To Every Season

Nest #3 is in the middle rafters and contains 3 eggs. It’s another high traffic area so we put a flower planter over it to provide a privacy screen. One robin hatched the other day, one egg is cracked, and one looks to be losing its robin’s egg blue.

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This will be the last of the robins for this year. The weather will cool, the birds will leave, the landscape will change. I’ve taken the time to watch life, to have the patience to let it unfold. Meditation comes in many forms and be sure to take a moment to pause, find courage in your good moments, and let those positive thoughts take flight.

Thank you for signing up for my blog and let me know what you do to find those cancer-free moments. Stay tuned to learn about the empty nests!

#myhusbandwantsthedeckback #melanoma #cancer #Thursdaythoughts #melanomatheskin

We can-cer vive!

Janis

 

I Scream, You Scream

Get Out!

National Ice Cream Day is celebrated annually the 3rd Sunday of July.  Perfect time to go out and have an ice cream! For those of you who are lactose intolerant, this post may not interest you, and for those who have skin cancer and fear the sun, I say, get out!

It’s tricky to have melanoma or other skin cancers because, well the sun is with us every day. Does it make you want to scream, having the deadly melanoma and having to be mindful of the sun? It’s about new sun-safe habits and creating easy routines.

Everyone should be using sunscreen, every day. Do you struggle with being outside? Does fear keep you from living in the moment? How many of your friends go with the belief that skin cancer won’t happen to them?

#EverydayisaSUNday

Recently handed an ad from the American Society for Dermatlogic Surgery, I was reminded just how much sunscreen matters. While I don’t know the ASDS personally,  promotion of sun safety is so important and I was pleased to see their reminder.

The sun is with us every day. Every, every, every day! With gray and dreary weather that solar reach is coming down to earth. Late in the day sunset viewing those rays are streaming at you. Middle of a cold winter day out snowshoeing that reflection off the snow is…well, a killer actually.

Skin cancer can make one very sun shy.  Don’t let melanoma and other skin cancers push you into the corner. You don’t need to live life in the dark either. Create sun-safe habits and have the courage to get out there and live your life! Wear sunscreen, clothing, and bring along your umbrella.

Favor a Flavor?

Oh, the options! My grandgirl and I have a few favorites at the top of our list though we love it all! Sugar cone and the very smallest size, because in America smallest still is a super size! Creamees just don’t cut it for us and we skip the condiments like sprinkles. It’s really about going out for an ice cream…together! Let’s talk ice cream..what’s your scoop?

And hey, did you see this?  U.S News has a listing of some free and discounted options for National Ice Cream Day. I think I might just google some ice cream shoppes local to me and get this mission going! I mean, National Ice Cream Day may be a gimmick and come only one day a year, but hey, why not? (I’ll write about sunscreen “flavors” another day).

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None of us knows what lies ahead in life (except death). Gather up that weary immunotherapy body or whatever your cancer is giving you today. Go out for National Ice Cream Day this Sunday.  Take a hike. Swim in the ocean. Mindfulness of sun days matters as does mindfulness of each and every day.  This day is the one that you have so put on your sunscreen and lather up with hope.

#EverydayisaSUNday #Nationalicecreamday #takeahike #melanomatheskin #melanoma #sunsmarts #favoriteflavor

We can-cer vive!

Janis