A Wrinkle In Time

Have you read it? Did you love it? Author Madeleine L’Engle wrote this engrossing novel, winning the Newbury in 1963. This travel through time and space is a delight and one I intend to return to again…and soon. Reaching deep with themes of death, social conformity, and truth, this children’s chapter book can be a whole new adventure read as an adult. Here’s an interesting take on this read from adults in a Mashable podcast.

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A Wrinkle In Time is the first in the Time Quintet series. Right now, it’s resurgence is notable in relation to the release of the movie in February 2018. Every where I turn I see this classic and what a wonderful thing that is! But what does this have to do with cancer and melanoma?

Scans and Tessering

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Well, here goes my thoughts on this and cancer patients and caregivers might be most able to relate to this. Time goes fast, time goes slow for all of us. I am learning to live in the moment, the here and now but what happens when you have a full day of appointments, appointments that will give you more time to enjoy life, or bring you to that place of worry when not “passing” the scans? Let me know how you deal with scan days.

My caregiver works with me as I submit to the surrealism of MRI, CT, any various dyes, drugs, and blood letting. Liquid hope is funneled into veins like water through a hose. Like A Wrinkle in Time, there is a sci-fi quality about my Dana Farber day,  lying in tubes hearing thumps or being directed to breathe and not breathe by mechanical audio direction. Big Brother, is that you? Meditation helps to keep me in balance and mindfulness reminds me that this singular moment of pain and discomfort will pass, too.

Each of us has our wrinkle in time, a place between reality and the unknown. Sensations of time and place muddle. Questions of belief and hope are only human, and that’s just fine, to feel human. Characters in the book find their time spent with tesseracts; this time travel is often physically painful and leaves them with anxiety, uncertainty. Sound familiar?

Parallel Universe?

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Parallels between A Wrinkle in Time and our own cancer journeys are uncanny. Reality is a fine place though some days we feel as though we are in a time warp, part of a science fiction writing that brings us places we never thought we’d go. Balance tips  as our health tessering brings concerns to the forefront, our future looms closer. Living in the moment skyrockets out of reach as medical melee hurls us toward the future.

Madeleine L’Engle  states that “For me, this book activates both transparency and resistance. It urges us to open ourselves up to those hurts, those tribulations, those disappointments, those doubts, those uncertainties. All of which can be summarized as darkness. It walks us through that pain to a light within ourselves, sparking us to resist all that is not for our good and fight for a better way. Simply put, A Wrinkle in Time offers a glimpse of eternity”.

Not sure where I am with the idea of eternity, but I totally look for the light in each moment, and not the sun light! Find that light within yourselves and fight the cancer battle with courage. Not the journey we chose, but how lucky to still be on the trip! #melanomatheskin #cancer #awrinkleintime #melanoma #Thursdaythoughts

We Can-cer vive!

Janis

 

 

Heir Apparent

Battle Royal

Yes, I sometimes think in dark places.  I mean with metastatic melanoma, scars on my face from excisions, radiation treatment, and now a clinical trial, it’s not all that hard to find your mind go murky. At times, I feel like the next in my family, riddled with cancer, to wear the crown of cancer.

bird crane balearica regulorum royalty free

A person of our American royalty, former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt is the central figure to a fictional account of her life in the book, White Houses by Amy Bloom. I enjoyed reading this novel that imagines the life between Eleanor and Lorena Hickok though it blurred the lines for me between historical information and an invented story. I devoured the book knowing I prefer more factual portrayals of people of ER’s stature.

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One of my favorite quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt hangs on my fridge!

 

Royal Treatment

Why mention White Houses? Author Amy Bloom uses a description about saplings in the woods (forgive me for not having the wording handy). In comparing shaded saplings to people, the author relates the smaller trees will be stunted by those towering trees that relish the canopy, thriving on the light well fought for by competing trees.

An analogy that works eloquently for those of us with skin cancer. Do we now hide in the recesses of  dingy corners of our world? Should we resign ourselves to a tenebrous existence far from the beckoning sun? Are we relegated to be lowly saplings who never benefit from the light?

Those that reach for the light grow!

Hell, no! Shadowy thoughts like that are the last thing we need. Acknowledge those cancer moments, grab your cancer crown (a large brimmed hat for me!) and sun screen, and seek the light, seek the positive.

Use sun-safe habits and your #sunsmarts. Enjoy the things you love and keep solar mindfulness with you at all times. Take your vitamin D and find the courage to get out there! Light is metaphorical for illuminating the positive and also offers physical improvement when sensibly enjoyed. That doesn’t mean ignore your doctors!

Some People are…Well…A Royal Pain

Where did the light come for this blog? I just read a blog post where the writer stated we need direct sun and that sun screen is not good for us. Really? I know that the sun is essential to life; I get that in a big way, but really, no sun safety? Yes, that statement angers me because I GO TO THE DOCTORS, I GO THROUGH THE PAIN, I FIGHT FOR MY LIFE. I commented on that blog! The response explained that melanoma is a blessing. Really? No words here.

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Stand Tall!

Reach for the light every day. Open your mind, open your heart, and you will leave the gloomy thoughts and the darkness in the undergrowth. Don’t read trivial stuff. Do what you love and grow strong; become the tall tree.  #melanomatheskin #cancer #melanoma #readingmatters #becomethetalltree

We can-cer vive!

Janis

 

Sun Worship Part III

Time’s Up…We Know Better

Yeah, I’ve written about my childhood days in the sun and my days as a naive adult, too. But how did I manage to continue this sun worship until I became another cancer statistic? Those of you who are still sun junkies will want to read this I hope.This sun habit is no longer sensible. It kills.

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With adult children with lives of their own, my time beyond work was…well, mine! A novel idea, I readily choose more warm weather vacations in the Spring, sought out time at the beach, and did a lot more mucking about with boats. For me, life has always been best when on, in, or near water.

My sun-safe habits were moderate. Because of sun damage at a young age, I applied sunscreen to my nose regularly. Super solar days, I’d put on a baseball cap and bring a long sleeve shirt for the end-of-the day sunburn. If at the beach, I’d turn my chair away from the late day sun. On a boat, I’d be sure to cover up my skin as the day floated along. I started wearing sun glasses more…I mean who had heard of ocular melamona?

Feel the Burn

For those warm weather Spring vacations, I did something that I felt was very smart. I went to tanning beds. Being a logical person, I wanted to not burn on vacation and be able to participate in whatever sand, sun, sea adventure that came along. By tanning, my skin had a base of tan allowing me to be out and about without worrying about frying. I wouldn’t call myself a frequent flyer for tanning, but felt better for going. Perhaps it was a vitamin D boost or perhaps it was feeling warm?

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Whatever my source of sun, mindfulness had a different spin. At the end of the day, using lotion to prevent sun damage was part of the routine. Some days, a soak in an oil bath rejuvenated my dry skin. Different home remedies might include using a vinegar soaked wash cloth or a cold compress for sunburn. What sunburn remedies do you know of? I’d like to include them in a future blog listing so let me know!

The BIG Burn

The result of my sun-safe habits?  Metastatic melanoma. Hear my sarcasm? I wasn’t protecting myself. For the most part, I was doing “after: sun damage care. In my lifetime, our culture had no fear of the sun. We worship tan bodies, warm heat, and the relaxation of the hazy, lazy days of summer. My logic on how to have that healthy glow was actually setting me up for the big burn, the burn of fighting for my life.

Are you thinking you won’t get skin cancer? Or that if you have a little area removed, that life is good so grab that beach chair? There are different types of skin cancer, all of them are scary and melanoma is deadly. You don’t want to hear this but neither did I when I got that biopsy result that changed my life. Please think again!

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Thanks for following me and please let me know how you are changing the sun worship culture in your life. #Sunsmarts are in! Love being outside and  being sun shy is where it is at now that we know better! Save a life-yours! Be practical and learn sun-safe habits. #melanoma #melanomatheskin #naturalskinrocks #cancer #mindfulness

We can-cer vive!

Janis

 

Fear and Reading-“The Emperor of All Maladies”

Warning: Dangerous Curve Ahead

Librarian and literacy advocate-gotta love a career like that. I find my melanoma takes away from what I want to do, how I thought my life played out. It’s changed my course in life and how dare those cancer cells take my greatest passions from me. Okay, I said it. Now, it’s time to get on with the life I never envisioned! Here’s one great book and one tiny, little reason not to read it, FEAR!

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Many of us get thrown curves in life and the big one for me right now happens to be cancer. I’ve always loved my profession and especially, the possibilities for connecting people with books, materials, resources, and education to empower them.  So it’s bound to overflow into my blog!

Avenue of Escape

My librarian/mentor and best bud long ago taught me that quite often the kids reading sports books are not the ones out playing sports…they just want to read about it.  The kids reading about abuse and tough family situations are quite often not living that at home, they just want to read about.  Often, our reading is about escape, about learning about what we don’t experience. We might just learn something!

I want to share a book about cancer. Now, why would we cancer patients want to read The Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartha Mukherjee? Initially, I had no idea it was about cancer and as a lover of non-fiction (okay, I confess…I am a multi-genre lover who keeps multiple titles on the nightstand!), I made a mental note years ago that I wanted to check out that book some day.

In 2011, it won the Pulitzer Prize which reminded me again that someday I would read it. Then a few years later, I learned the subtitle :A Biography of Cancer. Shit! How does one read this book when already drowning in words like biopsy, cancer diagnosis, treatment, stress..that list is long so just suffice to say c-word stuff?

Mukherjee’s book was first published in 2010, so by 2017 with another melanoma diagnosis, it was time. I mean, the book’s information was no longer hot off the press and I knew I wanted to read it. Fear, fear, fear that it would bring me to places I didn’t want to go had held me back.

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The Road is Long

Goodreads.com offers relevant reviews and varied thoughts on this book, but I’d like to share a few thoughts as well. Non-fiction, in the contemporary publishing market, tends to weave facts with interesting story lines. The Emperor of All Maladies:A Biography of Cancer traces cancer from thousands of years ago to the 21st century, interweaving science, history, and human experience. Cancer has not taken the express lane!

Rather than feeling chaffed reading this title, I felt soothed. The Dana Farber Cancer Institute connection added another layer of confidence with my already swelling assurance of my skin cancer team. Secondly, I gained tremendous respect for the scientists, oncologists, and other professionals who have led and continue to advance toward cures; this journey has been far longer than I realized.

 

Lastly (though I could go on and on about this book!), it humbled me. People talk of the cancer club, yet this title manifests how each cancer patient has their own brave battle, and that together each of our unique roads leads forward together, be it caregiver,  healthcare staff, or patients. Thank you to ALL of those who came before us on this journey.

Fellow blogger and cancer patient, Melanoma in Me, writes about this amazing book and an opportunity to meet the author. I’ve met many authors in my life and hearing Mukherjee discuss cancer and what’s next would be even more inspirational. I hope to have that opportunity knowing how quickly the knowledge-base about cancer has expanded in the last decade.

In reading The Emperor of All Maladies, I am reminded that knowledge breaks down fear. Fear is a detour, a roadblock, and this post, a small example of how to leave it behind before it leaves you behind. Try this book, and let me know what you think! Thanks for signing up for my blog, too! #nofear #readingrisk #cancer #mindfulness #melanomatheskin #melanoma

We Can-cer vive!

Janis

PS I just realized PBS made a documentary (Ken Burns) about this in 2015 so I will watch it perhaps someday!

I Scream, You Scream

Get Out!

National Ice Cream Day is celebrated annually the 3rd Sunday of July.  Perfect time to go out and have an ice cream! For those of you who are lactose intolerant, this post may not interest you, and for those who have skin cancer and fear the sun, I say, get out!

It’s tricky to have melanoma or other skin cancers because, well the sun is with us every day. Does it make you want to scream, having the deadly melanoma and having to be mindful of the sun? It’s about new sun-safe habits and creating easy routines.

Everyone should be using sunscreen, every day. Do you struggle with being outside? Does fear keep you from living in the moment? How many of your friends go with the belief that skin cancer won’t happen to them?

#EverydayisaSUNday

Recently handed an ad from the American Society for Dermatlogic Surgery, I was reminded just how much sunscreen matters. While I don’t know the ASDS personally,  promotion of sun safety is so important and I was pleased to see their reminder.

The sun is with us every day. Every, every, every day! With gray and dreary weather that solar reach is coming down to earth. Late in the day sunset viewing those rays are streaming at you. Middle of a cold winter day out snowshoeing that reflection off the snow is…well, a killer actually.

Skin cancer can make one very sun shy.  Don’t let melanoma and other skin cancers push you into the corner. You don’t need to live life in the dark either. Create sun-safe habits and have the courage to get out there and live your life! Wear sunscreen, clothing, and bring along your umbrella.

Favor a Flavor?

Oh, the options! My grandgirl and I have a few favorites at the top of our list though we love it all! Sugar cone and the very smallest size, because in America smallest still is a super size! Creamees just don’t cut it for us and we skip the condiments like sprinkles. It’s really about going out for an ice cream…together! Let’s talk ice cream..what’s your scoop?

And hey, did you see this?  U.S News has a listing of some free and discounted options for National Ice Cream Day. I think I might just google some ice cream shoppes local to me and get this mission going! I mean, National Ice Cream Day may be a gimmick and come only one day a year, but hey, why not? (I’ll write about sunscreen “flavors” another day).

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None of us knows what lies ahead in life (except death). Gather up that weary immunotherapy body or whatever your cancer is giving you today. Go out for National Ice Cream Day this Sunday.  Take a hike. Swim in the ocean. Mindfulness of sun days matters as does mindfulness of each and every day.  This day is the one that you have so put on your sunscreen and lather up with hope.

#EverydayisaSUNday #Nationalicecreamday #takeahike #melanomatheskin #melanoma #sunsmarts #favoriteflavor

We can-cer vive!

Janis

Sun Worship, Part II

Or why didn’t I get this as an adult?

An earlier blog speaks of some basic sun worship mistakes from my childhood.  The culture of the times was all about that healthy glow and rich tan skin. Really, there was nothing to get; sun bathing was the norm. Don’t let the guilt get the best of you.  Change begins today, never yesterday.

In my young adult years, say in my 20’s and 30’s, I continued to seek sun whenever possible.  My young family  enjoyed walking, hiking, playing sports,riding bikes, gardening, camping, boating, and best of all, the beach, whether lake or ocean. We were active, happy, and brown.

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My new version of light!

Time Out

My son was, and is, feral. He seeks the wild places and “needs” to be outdoors. He was lucky enough to have that most of the time as a child and to create his life around that need as an adult. For our family, outdoor adventure made us feel alive and the best times were “out”.  Dear children-I hope that your past sun history never becomes what mine has.  If I only had known and I hope skin cancer never comes in to your life.

I love being a librarian but sometimes felt work got in the way on a gorgeous summer or winter day, when the natural world beckoned.  I chuckled while doing a mid-February story time about the beach and felt like I was in heaven when I plunked down into my beach chair to read with families.  Summer reading brought the enticement of story time and programs anywhere outside; the pool, the library garden, the bookmobile at the ball field, the free lunch program all lured me in for reading in the great outdoors!

My sisters, brother, and all of our families loved our family reunions.  Sun meant fun as we spent a whole weekend together in the warmer months, traipsing kids, babies, and parents to the beach, on boats, up gorges, to outdoor fairs, through campgrounds.  See the theme in our lives?  Best days were often the maximum time out, just out.

Scoodic Peninsula, Maine!

 

I Took A Walk in the Woods And Came Out Taller Than the Trees (Henry David Thoreau)

I don’t intend to give up on my life alfresco; I intend to be #sunsmart. Wow!  This is a complete lifestyle change.  We know the drill of sunscreen, SPF clothing, and avoiding peak sun times.  There is no way, I repeat NO WAY, I will give up on fresh air and that wonderful feeling it brings.

How do you deal with the sun?  What are you learning to modify your life without giving up your outdoor adventures? I’d love to hear from you because we all have much to learn, not so much to give up. It’s that idea of balance that comes into play so much with all of us, but particularly with cancer patients. It’s easy to tip the scale.

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Enjoy the moonshine!

I am super pleased that I am wrapping my head around getting on and getting out there. Have courage, bring mindfulness into your adventure.  Don’t let melanoma rule.  Find inspiration in the new, different way that you live. Sun safety matters and so does the adventure we call life!

Here’s one easy example-Get out there and enjoy a bit of moonshine this week. Life is full and so is the East coast moon on Thursday! It might be a cloud-covered evening but hey, there’s always tomorrow!  #melanomatheskin #melanoma #thursdaythoughts #melanomamoonshine

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We can-cer vive!

Janis

Summer Solstice

sun-47083_960_720.pngAh, the longest day of the year! Abundance of daylight! Summer daze ahead!

This Is…This Was

This is… no wait, this was one of my favorite days. I’ve always been a summer girl with a birthday in June and a great love of the warmer months.  Sun worship is…no wait, was a routine of my life. Summer solstice was always a little bittersweet as I felt 14 hours of daylight was perfect and begrudged the coming of the dark.

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Happy Summer Solstice to you in the Northern Hemisphere! ‘Inti Raymi’rata, the sun festival of the Incas, is one celebration of light.  Norway, “Land of the Midnight Sun”, celebrates 24 hours of daylight now. Stonehenge is a site of ancient worship of the sun.  Celebration of the sun started long before our melanoma; its how we cancer patients react to it that really makes the difference.

Yes, I do notice on-screen ads depicting the sun fun thing…it seems everything is better during the warmer months. Whether drinking a Corona or buying a Subaru, life is incredibly perfect on sunny summer days. And this mentality is everywhere. Did I think about this before skin cancer?  Nope and the marketing is not going to change overnight either.  Life changes and how are you dealing with having a life and melanoma, too?

Sun Celebration

Favorite holidays?  Some love Christmas, others Halloween.  Any one that knows me, knows my favorite day of the year is Ground Hog Day!  Advocating for this day is easy…we start talking about Spring, no matter how far away the reality is; we can see the light at the end of the winter darkness tunnel.  Damn it!  We’re half way to Spring. And that is something to celebrate!

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Ground Hog Day, Summer Solstice, and another favorite-Winter Solstice I celebrate knowing the sun is going to come back to us all yet again. Sure I have a lot of fun with people and my Ground Hog Day initiative but hey, come February we all need to tee-hee a bit.

All of this celebration is my solar system; it’s just part of how I mark time, seasons, and living.  Appreciate sunshine, warmth, and growing vegetables. Find courage in shimmering seas,  hope dawning on one more day, inspiration in beautiful sunsets.

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Be Shady

Do what you need to do to live life with a mindfulness about melanoma and other skin cancers.  Check the EPA UV Index, seek shade, wear sun screen, avoid intense sun, wear protective clothing, and get on with life! #melanoma #melanomatheskin #sunsmarts #summersolstice #skincancer

One more rotation for all of us, now that is something to celebrate! 

We can-cer vive!

Janis