Birds of a Feather

Cancer patients or is that cancer patience? Ah, I’ve learned a lot about patience as I plod along hoping that each day on this clinical trial brings me closer to healing. Rather than live in fear, I have the belief that in being patient with the immunotherapy drug that potentially treats melanoma and kicks my butt, that I have a chance.

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Hope and inspiration might just come from odd places as we fight cancer and look for balance in our lives. I find that living in the moment is a good place for me to reside! Simple pleasures come and go, as do the trickier moments of scans, tests, and infusions. The natural world bestows the greatest moments of a-ha and reminds me of what really matters.

Life on the Wing

And so it is with the birds. Living where nature abounds, panoramic views gives ample opportunity for viewing. A plethora of shore birds arrive seasonally, while the hardier sparrows, blue jays, and gulls will tough it out with the rest of us year rounders.

Reading Round Robin by Jack Kent is a fun picture book and always a reading rite of Spring  bringing lots of laughs! Three robins nests in the rafters at our house this year and I’ve learned a lot from the National Audubon about the American Robin! What better way to be reminded of the hope of tomorrow than with watching life unfold.

Rule the Roost

Nest #1 appeared in May, and we barely noticed it nicely tucked in to the far end of the deck…not sure how many eggs there were, but if you look closely at the pictures above you will see two young birds. Flights ensued the day after this picture and they were on their own shortly thereafter.

Nest #2
Nest #2

Nest #2 came immediately after #1 on the busy, walkway under our deck. Long strands of grass and nest making material had me keen to this busy pair of robins. Four blue eggs later, we waited. With a 12-14 day incubation that felt far longer, we finally had one robin. I’ve been told that 50% hatch is normal. My grand-girl caught this baby bird on video early on, and I’ve watched this video several times. Life is amazing, right?

To Every Season

Nest #3 is in the middle rafters and contains 3 eggs. It’s another high traffic area so we put a flower planter over it to provide a privacy screen. One robin hatched the other day, one egg is cracked, and one looks to be losing its robin’s egg blue.

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This will be the last of the robins for this year. The weather will cool, the birds will leave, the landscape will change. I’ve taken the time to watch life, to have the patience to let it unfold. Meditation comes in many forms and be sure to take a moment to pause, find courage in your good moments, and let those positive thoughts take flight.

Thank you for signing up for my blog and let me know what you do to find those cancer-free moments. Stay tuned to learn about the empty nests!

#myhusbandwantsthedeckback #melanoma #cancer #Thursdaythoughts #melanomatheskin

We can-cer vive!

Janis

 

Sun Worship Part III

Time’s Up…We Know Better

Yeah, I’ve written about my childhood days in the sun and my days as a naive adult, too. But how did I manage to continue this sun worship until I became another cancer statistic? Those of you who are still sun junkies will want to read this I hope.This sun habit is no longer sensible. It kills.

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With adult children with lives of their own, my time beyond work was…well, mine! A novel idea, I readily choose more warm weather vacations in the Spring, sought out time at the beach, and did a lot more mucking about with boats. For me, life has always been best when on, in, or near water.

My sun-safe habits were moderate. Because of sun damage at a young age, I applied sunscreen to my nose regularly. Super solar days, I’d put on a baseball cap and bring a long sleeve shirt for the end-of-the day sunburn. If at the beach, I’d turn my chair away from the late day sun. On a boat, I’d be sure to cover up my skin as the day floated along. I started wearing sun glasses more…I mean who had heard of ocular melamona?

Feel the Burn

For those warm weather Spring vacations, I did something that I felt was very smart. I went to tanning beds. Being a logical person, I wanted to not burn on vacation and be able to participate in whatever sand, sun, sea adventure that came along. By tanning, my skin had a base of tan allowing me to be out and about without worrying about frying. I wouldn’t call myself a frequent flyer for tanning, but felt better for going. Perhaps it was a vitamin D boost or perhaps it was feeling warm?

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Whatever my source of sun, mindfulness had a different spin. At the end of the day, using lotion to prevent sun damage was part of the routine. Some days, a soak in an oil bath rejuvenated my dry skin. Different home remedies might include using a vinegar soaked wash cloth or a cold compress for sunburn. What sunburn remedies do you know of? I’d like to include them in a future blog listing so let me know!

The BIG Burn

The result of my sun-safe habits?  Metastatic melanoma. Hear my sarcasm? I wasn’t protecting myself. For the most part, I was doing “after: sun damage care. In my lifetime, our culture had no fear of the sun. We worship tan bodies, warm heat, and the relaxation of the hazy, lazy days of summer. My logic on how to have that healthy glow was actually setting me up for the big burn, the burn of fighting for my life.

Are you thinking you won’t get skin cancer? Or that if you have a little area removed, that life is good so grab that beach chair? There are different types of skin cancer, all of them are scary and melanoma is deadly. You don’t want to hear this but neither did I when I got that biopsy result that changed my life. Please think again!

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Thanks for following me and please let me know how you are changing the sun worship culture in your life. #Sunsmarts are in! Love being outside and  being sun shy is where it is at now that we know better! Save a life-yours! Be practical and learn sun-safe habits. #melanoma #melanomatheskin #naturalskinrocks #cancer #mindfulness

We can-cer vive!

Janis

 

Fear and Reading-“The Emperor of All Maladies”

Warning: Dangerous Curve Ahead

Librarian and literacy advocate-gotta love a career like that. I find my melanoma takes away from what I want to do, how I thought my life played out. It’s changed my course in life and how dare those cancer cells take my greatest passions from me. Okay, I said it. Now, it’s time to get on with the life I never envisioned! Here’s one great book and one tiny, little reason not to read it, FEAR!

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Many of us get thrown curves in life and the big one for me right now happens to be cancer. I’ve always loved my profession and especially, the possibilities for connecting people with books, materials, resources, and education to empower them.  So it’s bound to overflow into my blog!

Avenue of Escape

My librarian/mentor and best bud long ago taught me that quite often the kids reading sports books are not the ones out playing sports…they just want to read about it.  The kids reading about abuse and tough family situations are quite often not living that at home, they just want to read about.  Often, our reading is about escape, about learning about what we don’t experience. We might just learn something!

I want to share a book about cancer. Now, why would we cancer patients want to read The Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartha Mukherjee? Initially, I had no idea it was about cancer and as a lover of non-fiction (okay, I confess…I am a multi-genre lover who keeps multiple titles on the nightstand!), I made a mental note years ago that I wanted to check out that book some day.

In 2011, it won the Pulitzer Prize which reminded me again that someday I would read it. Then a few years later, I learned the subtitle :A Biography of Cancer. Shit! How does one read this book when already drowning in words like biopsy, cancer diagnosis, treatment, stress..that list is long so just suffice to say c-word stuff?

Mukherjee’s book was first published in 2010, so by 2017 with another melanoma diagnosis, it was time. I mean, the book’s information was no longer hot off the press and I knew I wanted to read it. Fear, fear, fear that it would bring me to places I didn’t want to go had held me back.

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The Road is Long

Goodreads.com offers relevant reviews and varied thoughts on this book, but I’d like to share a few thoughts as well. Non-fiction, in the contemporary publishing market, tends to weave facts with interesting story lines. The Emperor of All Maladies:A Biography of Cancer traces cancer from thousands of years ago to the 21st century, interweaving science, history, and human experience. Cancer has not taken the express lane!

Rather than feeling chaffed reading this title, I felt soothed. The Dana Farber Cancer Institute connection added another layer of confidence with my already swelling assurance of my skin cancer team. Secondly, I gained tremendous respect for the scientists, oncologists, and other professionals who have led and continue to advance toward cures; this journey has been far longer than I realized.

 

Lastly (though I could go on and on about this book!), it humbled me. People talk of the cancer club, yet this title manifests how each cancer patient has their own brave battle, and that together each of our unique roads leads forward together, be it caregiver,  healthcare staff, or patients. Thank you to ALL of those who came before us on this journey.

Fellow blogger and cancer patient, Melanoma in Me, writes about this amazing book and an opportunity to meet the author. I’ve met many authors in my life and hearing Mukherjee discuss cancer and what’s next would be even more inspirational. I hope to have that opportunity knowing how quickly the knowledge-base about cancer has expanded in the last decade.

In reading The Emperor of All Maladies, I am reminded that knowledge breaks down fear. Fear is a detour, a roadblock, and this post, a small example of how to leave it behind before it leaves you behind. Try this book, and let me know what you think! Thanks for signing up for my blog, too! #nofear #readingrisk #cancer #mindfulness #melanomatheskin #melanoma

We Can-cer vive!

Janis

PS I just realized PBS made a documentary (Ken Burns) about this in 2015 so I will watch it perhaps someday!

I Scream, You Scream

Get Out!

National Ice Cream Day is celebrated annually the 3rd Sunday of July.  Perfect time to go out and have an ice cream! For those of you who are lactose intolerant, this post may not interest you, and for those who have skin cancer and fear the sun, I say, get out!

It’s tricky to have melanoma or other skin cancers because, well the sun is with us every day. Does it make you want to scream, having the deadly melanoma and having to be mindful of the sun? It’s about new sun-safe habits and creating easy routines.

Everyone should be using sunscreen, every day. Do you struggle with being outside? Does fear keep you from living in the moment? How many of your friends go with the belief that skin cancer won’t happen to them?

#EverydayisaSUNday

Recently handed an ad from the American Society for Dermatlogic Surgery, I was reminded just how much sunscreen matters. While I don’t know the ASDS personally,  promotion of sun safety is so important and I was pleased to see their reminder.

The sun is with us every day. Every, every, every day! With gray and dreary weather that solar reach is coming down to earth. Late in the day sunset viewing those rays are streaming at you. Middle of a cold winter day out snowshoeing that reflection off the snow is…well, a killer actually.

Skin cancer can make one very sun shy.  Don’t let melanoma and other skin cancers push you into the corner. You don’t need to live life in the dark either. Create sun-safe habits and have the courage to get out there and live your life! Wear sunscreen, clothing, and bring along your umbrella.

Favor a Flavor?

Oh, the options! My grandgirl and I have a few favorites at the top of our list though we love it all! Sugar cone and the very smallest size, because in America smallest still is a super size! Creamees just don’t cut it for us and we skip the condiments like sprinkles. It’s really about going out for an ice cream…together! Let’s talk ice cream..what’s your scoop?

And hey, did you see this?  U.S News has a listing of some free and discounted options for National Ice Cream Day. I think I might just google some ice cream shoppes local to me and get this mission going! I mean, National Ice Cream Day may be a gimmick and come only one day a year, but hey, why not? (I’ll write about sunscreen “flavors” another day).

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None of us knows what lies ahead in life (except death). Gather up that weary immunotherapy body or whatever your cancer is giving you today. Go out for National Ice Cream Day this Sunday.  Take a hike. Swim in the ocean. Mindfulness of sun days matters as does mindfulness of each and every day.  This day is the one that you have so put on your sunscreen and lather up with hope.

#EverydayisaSUNday #Nationalicecreamday #takeahike #melanomatheskin #melanoma #sunsmarts #favoriteflavor

We can-cer vive!

Janis

Matters of Life and Death…and Books, Of Course!

Immortality is not something I seek. How about you? Life is so amazing, and so challenging, too. It’s that balance thing which we live with every day. Live beyond fear and just live!

Sudden Death

My grandfather was run over and died, a best friend died far too young and wrongfully, a child died in a terrible accident. Unexpected death is tragic, shocking, and contorts the mind to make sense of it. Emotions are exposed, raw and beyond painful. Pieces never quite fit together again. Trauma and tragedy envelope the unexpected loss.

The one thing we know is that there is only one way out of this life. Is death more palatable for those who know they have only so much time? Would my grandfather have played his hand differently if he knew when his last day was? Would you?

A Fate Worse Than Death

Cancer patients live with the fragility of it all; diagnosis, stages, treatments, and even, survival rates. With my melanoma biopsies, options in life changed: is this deadly?, what is the prognosis?, and projects like getting my “things in order” floated through my mind. Some days, meeting an untimely death might sound easier, but then, you still have today!

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I recently read The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. My husband has loved this book for some time; I have at last read it. The beginning was a bit slow and confusing, but I always like to give a book 50-100 pages to develop. And develop it does as Niffenegger creates a story, both intricate and believable. This title offers deep possibilities for discussion.Would I want to know what is ahead?  Would you? Is it better that we don’t know?

In reading this book, it reminded me of Natalie Babbit’s  Tuck Everlasting, a riveting children’s book that explores the idea of living forever. A town wide read for our small Vermont community many years ago, concepts of eternal life, the benefits of NOT living forever, and avoiding the process of aging were exposed with prolific conversation for all ages.  Read it with your child or on your own; maybe it is okay that we have an end to this journey we call life!

“Now Is Eternity;

Now is The Immortal Life” (Richard Jefferies). Find courage in the day that you have; be present now!  Human nature seeks hope:  in life and in living, in treatments and cures, in one day or one year. Courage lies in the belief of a tomorrow. Find your inspiration to keep moving forward and balance that with what you have right now.  Cancer steals time-give yourself what quality you can through meditation, creating positive moments, and making the best of this day. Easier said than done, but make the most of this instant.

On  my reading list- The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin. Yikes! Another book about living and dying. What if we did know what day we would die? Fascinating to consider, how would you live knowing your exact moment of passing?  This is one of the titles that made Jimmy Fallon’s summer reading list suggestions and subsequent vote. It’s had rave reviews and will offer another window on life/death debates.

Windows into our future may not be the best idea.  These 3 titles glimpse into what “might” be, given that crystal ball. For me, it’s intriguing to play with the possibilities, but I’m a realist. I’m definitely going to read The Immortalists but for now, I intend to pause from ideas of time travel, death, and immortality. It’s not about fear today, it’s just about today, this moment, and about what is. #whatareyoureading #melanomatheskin #melanoma #Tuesdaythoughts #cancer #reading

We can-cer vive!

Janis